Hope and Love Over Hate

On Father’s Day this Sunday, I thought about Ricky Byrdsong. I was not alone.

Ricky Byrdsong

Byrdsong is the late Northwestern University basketball coach who was gunned down 16 years ago by neo-Nazi, white supremacist Benjamin Nathaniel Smith. On July 2, 1999, Brydsong was jogging near his home in Skokie, Illinois with his 10-year-old daughter Kelley and 8-year-old son Ricky Jr.  

Smith, who was on a hate-filled shooting spree, drove alongside them in his Ford Taurus and shot the elder Byrdsong multiple times. Byrdsong died the next day.

This Wednesday Ricky Brydsong would have turned 59 years old.

On Sunday, I was one of 5,000 people in Evanston, Illinois who participated in the “Race Against Hate,” an annual event that bears Byrdsong’s name. Run by the YWCA Evanston/North Shore, the Race seeks to combat hate of all kinds and raise money to promote education on issues of violence and racial equality.

Tragic Shooting in South Carolina

While each of the past 15 Races have been special, this year’s was particularly poignant following last week’s tragic, racially motivated shooting in Charleston, South Carolina. Last Wednesday, 21-year-old Dylann Roof drove two hours from his home to the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston and opened fire on a Bible study, killing nine people. The victims were all black. Roof had hoped that his actions would start a race war.

Like many of you, the news made me both sad and confused. Somehow, somewhere in his young life, something went terribly wrong inside Dylann Roof’s head. A hate-filled manifesto has since surfaced in which Roof describes feeling compelled to kill blacks in Charleston.

Roof’s “mission,” as he described it, was similar to Benjamin Smith’s. Smith was also 21 years old when he went on his two-state shooting rampage. In addition to murdering Byrdsong, Smith killed Korean-American college student Won Joon Yon on the campus of Indiana University. Smith wounded six Orthodox Jews on Chicago’s North Side, two African American men in Illinois’ capital of Springfield, a Taiwanese man in Urbana, Illinois and another African American man in Decatur, Illinois.

Smith was born and raised in Wilmette, Illinois, just minutes from where Sunday’s Race Against Hate took place. He attended New Trier High School and the University of Illinois. One day after Byrdsong’s death, on July 4, 1999, Smith committed suicide.

The Nine Lives

As I walked on Father’s Day along Lake Michigan on a warm, sunny summer morning, I chose not to think about either Roof or Smith. Instead, I thought about the lives that they took. In particular, I thought about the nine South Carolina victims. Click here to watch a series of short videos on CNN about the victims. 

• Rev. Clementa Pinckney (41) – A South Carolina state senator, pastor, father of two children. A brilliant, caring man, Pinckney was elected to the state house of representatives at the age of 23 and to the state senate 4 years later.
• Rev. Sharonda Singleton (45) – A speech therapist, track coach, mother and role model.
• Myra Thompson (59) – Bible study teacher and woman of deep religious faith who, according to friends, lived to serve God.
• Tywanza Sanders (26) – A business graduate from Allen University with an infectious smile who died trying to save his aunt, Susie Jackson.
• Ethel Lee Lance (70) – A grandmother and church member for 30 years who was enjoying her retirement.
• Cynthia Hurd (54) – A 31-year employee of the Charleston County Library, lover of books and her community who was the matriarch and “glue” of her family.
• Rev. Daniel Simmons, Sr. (74) – A retired pastor from another Charleston church who had joined the staff at Emanuel AME Church.
• Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor (49) – A school administrator, mother of 4 daughters and, according to friends and family, a warm, enthusiastic leader.
• Susie Jackson (87) – The oldest victim – a grandmother, longtime church member and singer in the church choir.

They Welcomed a Stranger

For the loved ones of these nine people, each day since last Wednesday’s shooting I am sure has been excruciating. They certainly have wondered how such a thing can happen. Father’s Day Sunday I can only imagine must have been overwhelming for them.  They are facing the harsh reality that they will never see their loved ones again.

According to news reports, Roof entered the church and asked those gathered if he could join their Bible study. They welcomed him with open arms. They were so nice to him, in fact, Roof apparently thought of not going through with his mission. But he did.

As he fired at the victims, methodically reloading the Glock .45-caliber semiautomatic handgun that he apparently received as a birthday present, he is reported to have shouted, “You all are taking over our country. Y’all want something to pray about? I’ll give you something to pray about.”

SAE frat member

The question I’m struggling with is: How does hate fill a person’s heart like this? Does it come from his parents? Does it come from his community? Does it come from friends or from institutions?

This makes me think back to this past April when a video surfaced of a bus load of Sigma Alpha

Epsilon fraternity students from OklahomaUniversity singing a hateful, racist song. The song joked about lynching blacks and about how blacks would never be part of their fraternity. Is this how hate is sewn and takes root?

Following the video surfacing, two of the students were expelled and the fraternity was shut down on

Oklahoma’s campus. An investigation has since uncovered that fraternity members learned this song at a national leadership event sponsored by the national chapter of Sigma Alpha Epsilon. Ironically, that national chapter is based right here in Evanston, Illinois and all 5,000 participants in the “Race Against Hate” walked or ran right past it Sunday.

“I Forgive You”

Runners line up in Evanston at the Race Against Hate

Despite Roof’s hateful and murderous act, family members who spoke at his courtroom bond hearing last week somehow found words of forgiveness.

Nadine Collier, the daughter of 70-year-old Ethel Lance, told Roof, “I forgive you. You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never, ever hold her again. But I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul.”

Can you imagine uttering those words to the man who just days earlier shot and killed your mother in cold blood?

Over 5,000 people declared hope over hate

As I walked the 3.2 miles of the Race, I found myself at times overwhelmed with sadness. I thought of the families of each of the victims and what they were doing. But as I walked, I was surrounded by so much positive energy that it raised my spirits. YWCA volunteers cheered us all on. People smiled, clapped and encouraged each other. Hope was everywhere.

The hope was infectious and it made me recall the words I’d read last week from Chris Singleton, the son of victim Sharonda Singleton. He stated, “Love is always stronger than hate. So if we just loved the way my Mom would, then hate won’t be anywhere close to what it is.”

I agree with Chris. Despite the shock and horror of hate, hope and love will always win. Still we must do more to seek out the sources of hate and address it head on if we’re gong to stop these types of tragedies from happening again.