Friday, May 22, 2015

#LearningFromMistakes

I admit it. I might have jumped the gun calling for ESPN to fire reporter Britt McHenry.

The month-long drumbeat of Tweets calling for #firebrittmchenry has been strong and steady. To her detractors, glamorous blonde Britt has become the most hated reporter on TV, the consummate mean girl and the embodiment of snobbery.

I jumped into the fray with:  


Quick background: 28-year old Washington D.C.-based McHenry had her car towed. In retrieving it, she was spitting mad and unleashed a tirade of judgmental, caustic, insulting remarks at the female tow company employee. She basically told the lady she was fat, stupid and ugly and characterized herself as the brainy girl with looks and skills who has made it to the big time on TV.

McHenry’s tongue-lashing was recorded by the company (Advanced Towing) and, by the magic of our smart phone, social media world, the one-minute security cam footage was posted on April 16 and quickly went viral.

 Video from LiveLeak.com
The story soon hit CNN and other major news outlets. McHenry Tweeted an apology. ESPN suspended her for a week, and she then resurfaced asking for people (via Twitter) to “give me a second chance to prove to you how much I value integrity, character and treating people with respect.”

Britt had a bad day. Her life blew up big time. But I’ve been doing some thinking around two things:

  1.  People deserve second chances (because they can learn from their mistakes)
  2.   We all have a chance to learn a great deal from other people’s mistakes

Second Chances

We are a country of second chances. Nothing makes that case better than the late Marion Barry.  Barry, as you’ll recall, served as Washington D.C.’s mayor in the 1980s. In 1990, he was videotaped smoking crack cocaine, arrested by the FBI and eventually put in jail for 6 months. After he got out in 1992, Barry was elected to the Council of the District of Columbia running on the slogan, "He May Not Be Perfect, But He's Perfect for D.C." Clever and it worked. In 1994, he was elected mayor again and served in that role until 1999.

I could make a pretty good case that the crimes of Britt McHenry don’t rise to the level of Marion Barry’s. So, on that basis alone, I’d say she’s worthy of a second chance.  If I’m honest with myself, I can say I’ve had some less than stellar moments. I can recall an event from my past in which I lost my temper a bit and had a few choice words for someone who I thought treated me unfairly.

When I was in my 20s, I was a reporter working with the now defunct City News Bureau of Chicago as a crime reporter. One night, my car was towed by “Lincoln Towing,” notorious on the city’s north side for its aggressive practices. I was pissed. It cost me over $200 to reclaim my 1983 Buick Regal, and I’m pretty sure I let the tow employee have it with a few choice words through the foot-thick dirty Plexi-glass window while I signed the credit card receipt and he dropped my car keys down into the dingy, dented metal tray.

It wasn’t my best moment. I was worked up. No video of the incident exists that I’m aware of (granted it was the late 1980s), but if one was taken and it made its way with the speed of light to my boss, my family, my friends and the general public, I am sure I’d have been equally contrite and embarrassed, wanting people to cut me some slack and give me a do-over.

Learning from Britt

When you listen to the video and consider McHenry’s statements, it’s hard to have much empathy for her.  She said a lot of bad things. Here’s a quick sprint through her quotes.
  •  “I’m in the news, sweetheart.”
  • “I will f#*&ing sue this place.”
  • “That’s why I have a degree and you don’t.”
  • “I wouldn’t work in a scumbag place like this.”
  • “Makes my skin crawl even being here.”
  • “Yep, that’s all you care about is just taking people’s money. With no education, no skill set, just wanted to clarify that.”
  • “Do you feel good about your job?
  • “So I can be a college dropout and do the same thing?”
  • “Why? Because I have a brain? And you don’t?”
  • “Maybe if I was missing some teeth they would hire me, huh?”
  • “ ‘Cause they [the employee’s teeth] look so stunning … ‘Cause I’m on television and you’re in a f&*%ing trailer, honey.”
  • “Lose some weight, baby girl.”


So, if we’re going to extract a few lessons learned here and move on, what can we agree are the salient points? I’d offer the following:
  1.  Elitism – Don’t ever think you’re better than someone else because of education or because, in your view, you have a better job. Worry about yourself.  Avoid being condescending and disrespectful to other people. It almost always results in making you look bad. 
  2. Classism – Don’t insult what someone does for a living. People make snap judgments too often without knowing any facts.  A lot of circumstances combine to lead to what someone does to get by in the world. If you’ve accomplished something in your life, be humble, grateful and proud, but don’t define yourself or elevate your image by stepping on someone else’s head whom you feel is inferior. That just sucks. 
  3. The Ugly Truth – Our society puts entirely too much value on physical beauty and appearance. Criticizing someone’s weight or missing teeth, for example, says more about your own insecurity and distorted sense of what’s important than it does about the other person. As writer and poet Dorothy Parker once said, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone.”

The reaction against Britt McHenry has been intense. But I think more than hating her, people really hate what her comments represent. They speak to being entitled, classist, judgmental and self-focused. These kinds of topics get reactions - big time. 

Now, full disclosure, my prior Tweets on this matter have led to @BrittMcHenry blocking me. I get that. If you’re trying to rebound and patch things up, you don’t want to hear the haters. But to her, to ESPN and those still rallying for her termination, I’d suggest the following are worth considering:

  • #ForgiveBritt
  • #LearnFromMistakes
Or in her own words:
  • #IntegrityCharacterRespect



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