I am a nostalgic sort of person. Time passing makes me
reflective. Since time obviously never stands still, I’ll admit to being
reflective pretty much most of the time.
To add to this, next week I turn 50 years old. It’s a big
number – not one of those innocuous birthdays like 37 or 44 that pass you by
like a tiny, forgettable parade. This one to me feels like it’s grabbing me by
the collar, pulling me up close and telling me with the hot breath of reality
that, “Your life is rapidly passing by.”
Now at the half-century mark, I’ve been wondering a lot
about where I’d expected to be in my life. Looking back, what has gone well?
What decisions do I regret making? What lies ahead?
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| Graves at Srebrenica |
I suppose lots of people do this when they reach milestone
birthdays like 50. But last week I was taking a walk, listening to the news on
my iPhone, and I was snapped out of my mildly paralyzing
state of self-reflection
when a report came on about the 20th anniversary of the Srebrenica
massacre in Eastern Bosnia.
The report recounted how from July 11 to 13 in 1995 Bosnian
Serb forces killed an estimated 8,000 Muslim men and boys in and around the town
of Srebrenica. It has been called an act of genocide and is seen by many as the
largest single atrocity in Europe since World War II.
The detailed background of the Bosnian War and Srebrenica
specifically deserves more reading and discussion (see Wikipedia). The gist that I understand was that in 1991 as
Yugoslavia began to disintegrate, the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina was
formed and formally recognized by Europe and the United States. Bosnian Serbs,
however, rejected the newly formed republic.
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| Body parts stored by the ICMP |
The territory was multi-ethnic with a mixture of Muslim
Bosniaks, Orthodox Serbs and Catholic Croats. Bosnian Serb forces, supported by
the Serbian government of Slobodan Milošević and the Yugoslav People's Army,
attacked the Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina in order to unify and secure
Serb territory. A fierce struggle for territorial control followed, accompanied
by the ethnic cleansing of the non-Serb population from areas under Serb
control -- in particular, the Bosniak population of Eastern Bosnia, near the
border with Serbia. During the three-year war, many Serbs died as well.
The report I listened to described how all these years later
workers with the International Commission on Missing Persons (ICMP) are still
using DNA technology to identify victims from the massacre so that they can be
buried and their families can have closure. (see the Srebrenica 360 site for visuals of the
grave sites and other details)
The wounds of Srebrenica have not healed. (Watch a 2-minute BBC produced summary of Srebrenica). Just last week
during a widely attended ceremony to mark the 20th anniversary,
another 136 bodies were buried. When the current Prime Minister of Serbia came
to pay his respects, a crowd pelted him with rocks and bottles, driving him
and his security detail away.
Husbands, Sons,
Brothers
In the past few days, I have found myself thinking of the
families who for all these years have mourned the loss of their loved ones.
Thousands of wives who lost their husbands. Thousands of mothers who lost their
sons. Thousands of sisters who lost their brothers.
On my walk listening to this news report, I stopped and imagined
what all of those men and boys had missed for the past 20 years since those
tragic three days in 1995. While I didn’t know them or their lives, I certainly
knew about mine.
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| Jellyvision in San Francisco 1995 |
In my life, 1995 was a banner year. It stands out among many
of the others. I was 30 years old, working at Jellyvision in Chicago, a company
started by my best friend, whom I met when I was 12 and am still best friends
with today. Our tiny company had just created the CD-ROM trivia game called
“You Don’t Know Jack,” and we traveled to San Francisco to celebrate its launch
and future
success. We dressed in goofy costumes for the launch party and drove
up to Coit Tower to take pictures. I recall feeling like I was on top of the
world.
At Jellyvision, I met many people who have become lifelong
friends. I met my wife there, and we’ve been married for 12 years. We have two wonderful children. I’ve continued my career in education and
learning, and I now work with many talented colleagues and friends at Deloitte.
Life is good.
Thinking back to 1995, I felt in many ways that my life was
just starting. I knew there were so many wonderful things ahead. Reflecting on
the Bosnian massacre at Srebrenica from that same year is sobering for me.
Their lives were destroyed. No more friendships, marriages, laughter, careers.
Nothing. No futures at all. Just silence.
Glimmer of Hope?
As an educator, I continually search for lessons in all
things. I also search for hope and optimism because I believe it exists in everything.
It’s hard to find any hope in a senseless atrocity like Srebrenica, but for me
that glimmer comes through the ICMP.
Following the Dayton Agreement of 1995 and the end of the
Bosnian War, the ICMP was created. The dedicated team has since developed
techniques for identifying people through DNA technology that have proven
revolutionary and highly useful.
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| ICMP Director-General Kathryne Bomberger |
Under the leadership of Kathryne Bomberger, the ICMP has
used advanced DNA techniques at their Sarajevo laboratory to identify 7,000 of
the Srebrenica dead and another 10,000 missing from the Balkan conflicts of the
1990s. The team of 175 forensic scientists, geneticists, biologists, human
rights experts and support staff (many from the former Yugoslavia) have helped
bring closure for many suffering families.
Their techniques have also been used to help with other
missing persons cases – from Chile to Syria and with victims from Hurricane
Katrina in 2004 and the Asian tsunami of 2004. Their work has and continues to
bring needed closure and healing.
So, in my state of reflection over turning 50, hearing about
all these lives cut tragically short 20 years ago dramatically reframed my
state of mind. I have had 20 healthy, beautiful years filled with precious moments. I
am very lucky and blessed. The victims themselves – and certainly to a large degree
their grieving families – have not had any of that time.
While they cannot get that time back, hopefully the work of
the ICMP will help families close the book on a tragic time in their lives. As
I think of these people and, in general, how fragile life can be, I know I’m
less inclined now to view the time behind me with mostly unnecessary perplexing
questions and more inclined to see the time ahead of me with hope and promise.
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